Favorite Christmas Songs?

[stevemon]

A Visit From St. Nicholson

T’was the fright before Christmas. No one up, 'cept me
With a big bowl of popcorn, watching TV

I stretched, gave a yawn, settled back in my chair,
In hopes that St. Nicholson soon would be there.

The children were lying awake without sleep
They’d seen all his movies. He gives ‘em the creeps.

I’d cued up Cukoo’s Nest with my trusty remote,
To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat.

When out in the yard there arose such a noise,
I turned off the TV to see what it was.

And what to my wondering eyes should approach?
But the Los Angeles Lakers and Pat Riley, their coach.

The limo was racing; the team at it’s heels.
That’s when I saw him the man at the wheel.

He ranted and cursed. Waved round his swizzle stick.
And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick.

More rapid than the Celtics, these Lakers they came.
He screamed like a madman and called them by name:

“Now Magic, now Worthy, now Scott and Kareem
On Cooper, on Rambus, and the rest of the team.”

Down the chimney St. Nicholson came with a groan.
Then he brushed off the soot and said, “Honey I’m home!”

He was wearing a trench coat. With beer it was stained.
And shirt clawed to shreds by Shirley McLaine

He had a fat face, and flabby beer belly
From too many trips to the bar and the deli.

“It’s tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy.
I only get calls to play weirdoes and crazies…

And middle-aged has beens with washed up careers.
But I’ll fix ‘em all and play Santa this year.”

And with that he buried his head in the sack
And said, “Let’s see what you get from your old buddy Jack.

“A hatchet for Daddy,” he reared back his head,
“To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed.

“And a stiff drink for Mommy, in a nice tall glass.
She could really use something to kill that bug up her chimney!”

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face,
He threw all the stockings into the fireplace.

What could I do? What could I say?
What would I wear on my feet Christmas Day?

I asked for a reason, and turning his head,
He looked straight at me, and here’s what he said:

“Why? Do you wanna’ know why? Do you really wanna’ know why, Pal?

“I’ll tell you why. When you’re out Christmas shopping. You know, doing your little Christmas things with all your little Christmas friends, spreading all that Christmas cheer with those stupid Christmas songs. Did you ever stop and think of picking up a little something for old Jack, huh? Did you ever stop to think of what Jack might like for Christmas?

“You know, Jack, from the movies, up on the big screen? Pouring his heart out, giving it everything he’s got, day in and day out, just trying as hard as he can to bring a tiny little bit of sunshine into your miserable, little hum-drum lives. Did you ever think of good old Jack, huh, for a second? No, not once! Maybe old Jack just wasn’t that good, huh? Maybe I wasn’t good enough in The Postman Always Rings Twice. Acted my guts out for you in that one! Cuckoo’s Nest, The Shining, Witches of freaking Eastwick, Prizzi’s freaking Honor! All for you pal, just to brighten things up for ya!

“Not good enough though is it? No, you want me to brighten up the Christmas season too, huh? Isn’t that what you want, Pal?

“Okay, let’s make things real bright around here! What do you say we decorate the tree? String up these pretty lights here! Oh, she’s looking brighter already! Why don’t we take this cute little angel and ram her on the top branch huh? Ha ha ha! How about some gasoline for the whole freaking thing? I mean let’s make her just as bright as she can be! What do you say we light her up, and chuck her through the old picture window here, huh, pal? No sense in having a tree as bright as all that and not giving the neighbors a chance to see, don’t ya think, huh?

“There, aren’t you glad old Jack stopped by? Huh, huh, huh? Ha!”

The flames towered brightly in the cold wintery sky,
As he made for his limo and bade his goodbye.

And an age may unfold ere I fail to regret
That visit from St. Nicholson. Which I’d sooner forget.

But I swear by the goose bumps upon my skin
That I’ll always remember that devilish grin.

And his voice crying out ere he faded from sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and I hope I never see you again as long as I live, for crying out loud!”


Christmas At Ground Zero

It's Christmas at ground zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blare
It's Christmas at ground zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know that this is not a test
Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
It's the end of all humanity
No more time for last minute shopping
It's time to meet your final destiny
It's Christmas at ground zero
There's panic in the crowd
We can trim the tree while we dodge debris
Underneath the mushroom cloud

INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
But if someone's climbing down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill
It's Christmas at ground zero
And if the radiation level's OK
I'll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on New Year's Day
It's Christmas at ground zero
Just seconds left to go
I'll duck and cover with my Yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe
It's Christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday
What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday


That is all.

[YI_work]

My daughters favorite is

I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
I don't want a doll, no dinkey tinker toys
I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy


I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
I don't think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won't have to use a dirty chimney flue
Just bring him through the front door
That's the easy thing to do


I can see me now on Christmas morning
Creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy, what surprise
When I open up my eyes
To see a hippo hero standing there


I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
Only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinosaurus
I only likes hippopotamuses [sic]
And hippopotamuses [sic] like me, too


Mom says a hippo would eat me up, but then
Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian
There's lots of room for him in our two-car garage
I'd feed him there and wash him there and give him his massage."


I like this oldy

Oooooooo
Merry Christmas Santa
Christmas comes this time each year
Oooooooo oooooooo


Well, way up North where the air gets cold
There's a tale about Christmas that you've all been told
And a real famous cat all dressed up in red
And he spends the whole year workin' out on his sled.


It's the little Saint Nick
little Saint Nick
It's the little Saint Nick
little Saint Nick


Just a little bobsled, we call it Old Saint Nick
But she'll walk a tobogan with a four speed stick
She's candy apple red with a ski for a wheel
And when Santa hits the gas, man, just watch her peel.


It's the little Saint Nick
little Saint Nick
It's the little Saint Nick
little Saint Nick

run run reindeer
run run reindeer
Whoaa
run run reindeer
run run reindeer

He don't miss no one

And hauling through the snow at a frightenin' speed,
With a half a dozen deer with a-Rudy to lead,
He's gotta wear his goggles 'cause the snow really flies
And he's cruisin' every pad with a little surprise.


It's the little Saint Nick
little Saint Nick
It's the little Saint Nick
little Saint Nick



Ahhhhhh
Ooooooo
Merry Christmas Santa
Christmas comes this time each year


Ahhhhhh
Ooooooo
Merry Christmas Santa
Christmas comes this time each year


Ahhhhhh
Ooooooo
Merry Christmas St Nick
Christmas comes this time each year


And


Rocking Around the Christmas Tree
Brenda Lee

Rocking around the Christmas tree
at the Christmas party hop
Mistletoe hung where you can see
every couple tries to stop
Rocking around the Christmas tree,
let the Christmas spirit ring
Later we'll have some pumpkin pie
and we'll do some caroling.

You will get a sentimental
feeling when you hear
Voices singing let's be jolly,
deck the halls with boughs of holly
Rocking around the Christmas tree,
have a happy holiday
Everyone dancing merrily
in the new old-fashioned way.