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07-28-2004, 01:51 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Vote for Guy Fawkes  Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Jamaica Pass, Ok
Posts: 3,810
 | Super Duper Computer Store (Joke) Done in the world of today, Bud Abbott and Lou Costello’s infamous sketch, “Who’s on First?” might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT……………. ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks, I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer? ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer, I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look in the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got? ABBOTT: Office COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”. COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers….OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet? ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One. COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: If it’s a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them? ABBOT: Of course. COSTELLO: Great! With what? ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: OK, I’m at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do? ABBOTT: You click the blue “1” COSTELLO: I click the blue one what? ABBOTT: The blue “1” COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w? ABBOTT: The blue “1” is Real One and the blue “W” is Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows COSTELLO: But there are three words in “office for windows”! ABBOTT: No, just one. But it’s the most popular Word in the world. COSTELLO: It is? ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren’t many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. COSTELLO: And that word is real one? ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn’t even part of Office. COSTELLO: STOP! Don’t start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? They own it! A few days later: ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on “START”….
__________________ stevemonroe@cox.net 1986 GN, 11.80 @ 114, stock turbo. Now in my God sons care. 1989 TTA #10, Sold 1967 Buick Spl Deluxe. GS Clone, Sold 1957 Buick Special 2nd new Buick in the family (sold) 1950 Special 4 dr sdn. Families 1st new Buick. Got the Bling Grill   DIY Alcohol Injection 62 mm Throttle Bodys Liberalism faltered when it turned out it could not cope with truth. D. Moynihan Some in my party threaten to send a message that they don't know a just war when they see it, and more broadly that they're not prepared to use our military strength to protect our security and the cause of freedom. Joe Lieberman Somehow liberals have been unable to acquire from life what conservatives seem to be endowed with at birth: namely, a healthy skepticism of the powers of government agencies to do good. Daniel Moynihan When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary. T. Paine |
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07-28-2004, 07:58 PM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Registered User  Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Back in the War Town (WR GA)
Posts: 1,905
 | Re: Super Duper Computer Store (Joke) Quote:
__________________ 1987 GN  | |
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