Might this really

[Old Buzzard]

work??
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."

"Perfect," her husband said." I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.

You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you."

I'm not married, so I'd not be the one to ask.